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This month, here's what I think we should care about.
Happy 2024.
I know, it’s been a whole 32 days. The new year isn’t so new anymore. But I think being slow is something we should care about.
Taking time to think. Process. Start. It’s all valuable. I wonder how many ideas would have been birthed if we just went a little slower. Saw the mind fog as a maze and not a wall.
Maybe you do value the simplicity of slow. But at the start of something, it’s good to be reminded that you don’t have to rush anywhere: you’re in it for the long haul.
A couple of weeks ago, I chatted to my (super cool) friend Leoni. From the reason why lying is unkind to the beauty of friendship, here’s what she thinks we should care about:
Me: Hey Leoni, what makes you angry?
Leoni: I really had to think about this… because I think it actually takes quite a lot to make me like, really super mad haha! I am a BIG thinker, and I definitely feel things very deeply…so it was helpful for me to think more about scenarios that would really upset me, rather than what makes me angry. In truth what can be really painful is finding out you’ve been lied to.
Fundamentally, when we lie, it prevents the other person from making an informed decision. It’s indirectly robbing someone of making a true judgement. Because any decisions made thereafter are on the basis of this half-truth or picture that’s been painted to present an idea or scenario in a certain light.
Don’t get me wrong, from an outsider’s perspective, I understand why someone might become motivated to lie, especially if it’s an attempt to protect someone they care about. However, I believe that the kindest thing any of us can do, is to allow people to come to their own conclusions.
So where possible, be honest! Be kind, but be honest :)
Me: And what gives you hope?
Leoni: Hmm…getting older, I think! I turned 25 in December and heard an endless stint of quarter-of-a-century jokes (mainly with love, from my two fiendish younger brothers haha!) But it truly feels like a greater cause for celebration with every birthday that passes. It’s like well done! You survived another year on this absolutely mental planet! From my teenage years until my early twenties, I was pretty unhappy. Sadness was a state I grew accustomed to, and actually accepted as something that would always be a part of my life, lurking in the back of my mind like a dull headache. When I turned 21, Jesus interrupted my life in the best way possible and things actually started to make sense. It felt like waking up from a bad dream. Now most mornings I honestly wake up smiling! The lies that I had hung over myself for years fell away through healing friendships, therapy and learning more about the complex and beautiful character of God – I began to understand more about myself and God’s purpose for my life.
What gives me hope is that I truly believe that the best is yet to come.
Me: So, what do you think we should care about?
Leoni: Investing time into friendships! I’m hugely biased but my friends are some of the kindest, most fun and caring people on the planet. I feel beyond blessed, to know each of them. There is something so attractive and so very cool about commitment. In a throw-away society we love new things, including new relationships and friendships. They are exciting! But man, I am so grateful for the friends who have stuck by me at my worst, encouraged me, walked alongside me, and are still with me today. I would probably be pretty miserable if I had to walk this life alone – thankfully that is not how God designed it! He created us with a deep desire to be loved and known (ultimately by Him, but also) by the people we get to do life with.
There does seem to be a societal expectation to be in a serious (dating) relationship by a certain age, and amid this pressure and noise, the value of platonic friendships is, I believe, often overlooked. I have felt real heartache, reluctantly releasing friends who have, intentionally but often not so, neglected friendships for romantic relationships…but as my mother taught me: ‘Friends enter your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.’ Understanding that not everyone fits into that last category has, for me, been a slow lesson. A lesson however, that has made me greatly appreciate my closest comrades.
I think it’s important to invest in friendships because life is more fun with people and in healthy community. Good friends offer wise counsel, challenge us, keep us accountable and are there to dust us off when we fall down - a worthy investment indeed!
Thanks for reading. Be back soon with more things I find interesting :)